I am not a cat!

Almost every day while walking through the streets of Cairo I wonder where does sexual harassment actually start?

Are the thousands of 'Welcomes!' I heard in almost 3 years sexual harassment? Or does it start with 'ya beda', 'ya mo3sa', 'ya asl', 'ya habiby', 'nice', 'ya sexy', 'you look like my wife', 'I wanna marry you!' or 'Can I have a picture with you?'. What about 'cat-calling' and starring?

Or does it only start with grabbing, masturbating in front of me or ringing my doorbell and asking for sex.

For me all those 'Welcomes!' are already annoying. I feel objectified starting from cat-calling. Ana mush 'otta! And everything else is even worse.

I remember one incident quite well:

It happened a longer time ago in Zamalek in a coffee beside the Nile. I was sitting with a female friend outside, we were talking and in front there were some cars parking. Suddenly she asked if the guy in the car in the second row was masturbating. I could only see the open door from my place but she could look inside. She jumped out of her chair and went to him asking, if he is not ashamed. He only asked 'What?' with his **** in his hands and smiled. I was totally paralysed, but she really freaked out and she was right. She insulted him in every language she knows and finally he drove away.

We wondered what the hell this guy was thinking doing that in the middle of the day in front of a crowded coffee. But nobody of the other guest seemed to realize what was happen or maybe they just didn't care.

What are these guys thinking to behave like that in public or the work place? To treat women like sex objects?

And it's always blamed on the women themselves, maybe you weren't dressed decently, maybe you gave him a strange look, or worse maybe you dared to smile, which is obviously an invitation to masturbate in front of you.

Another explanation is men are frustrated, they have no jobs, no change to marry, so they feel bored. So, these 'poor' guys choose to harass women in the street to kill the time. Natch! Of course, what else they should do? And the sad point is: they have the POWER to do it AND they getting away with it!

It gets worse when it comes to solutions:

Dress decent!

Don't look men in the eyes!

Be unfriendly! Don't smile!

Ignore it!

Don't walk alone in the streets!

We need more police men (sic!) to protect women!

...

I am a human being, I am a person, I am self confident, I have a university degree, I am working, I am politically active, I am independent, I can survive on my own, I live by myself.

AND I want to walk as I want, I want to be friendly as I want, I want to smile as I want, I want to walk alone as I want.

And I don't want to be protected. 

I want RESPECT.

أستاذي المحترم........طز

طبعا من العنوان هتقولوا ايه الطالية القليلة الأدب دي اللي مش بتحترم أستاذها اللي كلنا اتربينا على ان دكاترة الجامعة دول من أكتر الناس احتراما في المجتمع..بس ده تقريبا طلع وهم(مع الاعتذار للمحترمين طبعا)....أنا كنت طالبة ماجستير في كلية الآداب جامعة القاهرة بعد ما طلع عيني في المواصلات العامة من محافظة لمحافظة المسافه بينهم حوالي ساعتين..كل يوم لمدة سنتين.. و يا يبقى فيه محاضرة يا لاء.. و الله على حسب مزاج الدكاترة بقى .. و بعد السنتين السود دول أخدت التمهيدي بعد طلوع الروح ..و كنت من المحظوظين القليلين جدا في دفعتي اللي تبناني بروفيسور ذو شأن كان رئيس قسم اللغة الانجليزية لحد ما وصل سن المعاش..و زوجته و بنته دكاترة في الجامعه..دكتور له أسمة و مؤلفاته من كتب في النقد و كتب في الشعر و مسرحيات و كتب مترجمة كتير..بس للأسف انسان أ ي كلمة جارحة قليلة عليه..طبعا انهالت عليا العروض من فلوس (استرليني) ههههههههههه( اومال فكرينه بالمصري؟ برستيج بقى) لحد كتابة الرسالة بخط ايده و يكون معايا الماجستير في سنتين و دي اقل مده ممكن الحصول على الدرجة فيها و هينقيلي الدكاتره اللي يناقشوني في الرسالة كمان لأنه غالبا هو اللي بيكون المناقش الرئيسي في الرسالة..ايه رأيكم في العروض الحلوه دي؟ أول مره أعرف ان تحضير رسالة ماجستير بالسهولة دي في مصر..و طبعا عارفين ايه المقابل..ده غير استغلال سنه اللي عدى السبعين في انه يقربلك كجدو هههههههه أنا مكنتش الوحيده اللي حاول يستغلها..معرفش بقى عرض على الباقيين ايه بس انا كنت بشوفه و مفهمتش الا متأخر لأن صورة استاذ الجامعه اللي اتربيت عليها و اللي اهلي طول عمرهم عاوزيني اوصلها كانت صعب أوي تتهز أدامي..بس يوم ما اتهزت اتكسرت مليون حته!!! يا خساره..أنا مش بتكسف اقول اللي حصلي بس أحب أقول للبنات اللي خايفه تتكلم ان ذنب البنات اللي لسه مش فاهمه و بتقع في ايده في رقبتكم..انا الحمد لله عرفت أفلت لأني باخد شهاده عشان يزيد بيها تقديري لنفسي مش اخد شهاده و ابيع نفسي!!! طب اعمل بيها ايه بعد كده!!!! بس الواحد لازم يبقى قوي و ميتكسرش عند اول تجربة..و لا يكتئب و يعد في بيتهم...دور الضحية ده خليه للناس الضعيفة..كلنا عندنا الحق نحافظ على ادميتنا و اللي يمسها ناخد حقنا منه..و لا ايه يا حلوين؟؟ و لا ايه يا د. محمد عناني؟؟؟ نفسنا الجامعات المصرية تنضف بقى.

عن العنف المنزلي (الغير موجود)

*صاحبة القصة مش عايزة تقول أسمها لأسباب شخصية ولكني أضمنلكوا 100% أن القصة حقيقية

أبويا بيضرب أمي من زمان أوي..من قبل ماأتولد..من أيام ما كانوا مخطوبين..ضربها كتير و لأسباب مختلفة وكتير كنت بشوفهم..العيلة كلها عارفة..ده مش سر..و أبويا مش جاهل و أحنا مش ساكنين في العشوائيات..أبويا و أمي متخرجين من جامعة ومثقفين وأحنا من الطبقة الوسطى
ليه فضلت معاه؟ وليه ماتفضلش؟ الموضوع أصلا ماحدش بيتعامل معاه كأنه شيء شاذ أو غريب ولا حتى هي..يمكن عشان كانت بتحبه..يمكن عشان كانت حاسة انها فعلا تستاهل..يمكن عشان أهلها ماوقفوش جنبها أو عشان كانت دايما تقولي الراجل اللي جوازه مر طلاقه أمر...
العنف معدي..هي كمان اتعلمت تضربه حتى لو مش هتوجعوا زي ما هيوجعها أو حتى لو هيضربها أكتر..وبقت تضربني..وهو كمان بيضربني..مرة وأنا صغيرة كسرلي أصبعي
انا اتعودت أوي على الموضوع ده علشان اتربيت عليه..مش بيفاجئني لما بسمع عنه..بس يفاجئني أوي اللي بيقولوا ده مفيش عنف منزلي أو ا ن ديه حالات شاذة..الشاذ هو أنك تلاقي حد يتصدى له
المشكلة أن الناس فاكرة أن حدود العنف اللي من النوع ده هو الأذى الجسدي.. أيد أو رجل تتكسر..بس أقل حاجة بيبقى الألم الجسدي..خدش الذات والإحساس بانعدام القيمة اللي بتحسوا المرأة المعنفة هو أكبر سبب بيخليها تفضل و تستحمل..مش العيال زي مابتقول..العيال اللي بيبقى عندهم نفس الاحساس..منتهى الانتهاك للكرامة الإنسانية اللي بيمارس يوميا جوة بيوتنا
أنا مش بكره أهلي ولا بتكلم عشان أصعب على حد وأستجدى شفقة..أنا بتكلم عشان اللي بيقول العنف المنزلي ده غير موجود بقولوا أنت متعرفش أيه اللي جوة البيوت

أنا بكره أمشي في الشارع

أنا بقيت بكره أمشي في الشارع..لأني بحس قد أيه أنا ضعيفة..وخايفة..وحاسة أني عاملة عاملة..و أنا بكره الضعف وأصلا مش ضعيفة
ماشي هاعمل فيها ال7 رجالة في بعض و مش ضعيفة و هابهدل أي حد يكلمنى..هاتخانق كام مرة في الشارع؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟ وبعد ما اتخانق هاخد أيه؟ الناس هتتلم و هيبصولي انا بلوم كأني كدابة أو مجنونة أو صايعة أو شوفوا لبسة أيه وليها عين تتكلم..ساعات ببقى فعلا مش قادرة اتخانق..مهزومة..مرهقة من المعارك اليومية..باخد الكلمة وأسكت..يعني هي جت عليه
بحس أن اللي بيعاكسني ده كاسر عيني..ساعات ببقى فرحانة وفخورة بنفسي..وأنزل الشارع واحد معدي يبصلي في عنايا و يقولي حاجة تفكرني انا مين وفين ومكاني أيه في المجتمع ده..ان هو مهما كان أقل مني، المجتمع بيديلوا كل الحق أنه يقولي أي كلمة أو يلمسني في أي حتة أي وقت و أبقي وريني بقى هتعملي أيه!
ولسة لغاية دلوقتي بتكسف جدا وبحس بالذنب خاصة لو ماشية مع حد بشتغل معاه وعيزاه يحترمني..يعدي واحد على عجلة في ثانية يسلبني احترامي..ابتسم بتوتر وخلاص
من 3 ايتدائي وانا بيتم التحرش بيا في الشارع..3 ابتدائي..هل ممكن تتخيل علاقتي بجسمي إلى أي حد تشوهت؟ وبعدين بذاتي
أنا بستغرب أن الستات ماتحولوش كلهم لكارهين للمجتمع من كتر المعاملة اللي بقلهم كتير بيتعملوها في الشارع..بس ده الشيء الرائع أن احنا لسة حاسين بدورنا وأهميته وبنقوم بيه..
تحية لكل بنت وست..بترفع راسها و تنزل كل يوم الشارع و متخافش ومتحبسش نفسها في البيت وتتعالى على قلة الأدب اليومية أو ساعات تروح ضربة اللي بيعكسها بالشبشب..

Pathways for Women in Democratic Transitions

International Experiences and Lessons Learned - Conference, 2nd June 2011, 9 am to 7:30 pm

The conference dealt with women's experiences in times of transition and the recent situation of women in Egypt. The speakers were mainly from South America and Egypt. Around hundred people gathered at 9 o'clock in the conference room, predominantly NGO workers and activists. The general atmosphere was relaxed and the presentations, speeches and discussions were inspiring. There wasn't a big pro or contra debate, everybody seemed to agree on the importance of women participating in the transitional period and after.

The first speaker was Faysa Abu el Naga. She pointed out, that she is the only woman in the parliament in Egypt at the time and that it is crucial to bring women into the next parliament, which will be elected in September 2011.

Michelle Bachelet, former president of Chile and recent general director of UN WOMEN, addressed in her speech the importance of women's participation in building a democracy. Law is only one side of equality. A very crucial point is also the symbolic representation, e.g. before she was elected as president, she was minister of defense. Within this position she was shown with soldiers, tanks and jets and the people started thinking:”Ok, when a woman can deal with that, she can also be president.” For Bachelet quotas are an important tool to reach equality in political representation. She emphasized as well the importance of Networking and Cooperation between women's groups of different political background. They need to find a minimum consent upon the implementation of equal citizenship. Equality should be based in the constitution and already existing structures should be used to build upon.
Finally she quoted Martin Luther King: “It's always the right time to do what's right.”

After a long interesting day the resulting recommendations were:

• implementation and enforcement of laws
• solidarity amongst women
• criminalize sexist and discriminatory behavior
• EDUCATION as the base of a democratic state (the Egyptian education system suffered from dogmas which were tought over the last decades → there is a need for teachers trainings, reorganization of contents, improving the ability of critical thinking)
• social welfare
• critical roles for women
• engage and motivate young people to participate in parties, councils, political groups
• evaluations and critical research and writing
  
  
  So, let's go to work :-)
  
  
  
  
  
  

The National Conference for Civic Society: "Egyptian Women are partners in the Revolution"

The conference was organized by the Alliance for Arab Women। It was held in the Cairo International Conference Center on the 4^th of June 2011 from 12 pm to 3 pm

The speakers for the first statement were: Dr। Hoda Bardan, Ambassador Mervat El-Telawy, and a young lady as a representative of the youth of the revolution।The conference was introduced by San'a Mansour

• Most Important Questions sent to the Conference Panel:

1) Why quota had been cancelled as being a kind of discrimination while keeping the 50% of the workers and peasants? What are the alternatives of quota?

2) Why the local councils have not been resolved yet?

3) Why the military council did not attend? Is it a deliberate marginalization? How we will fight against this?

4) How we guarantee women rights in the new constitution?

5) Does the fall of Suzan Mubarak mean the fall of Egyptian women?!

6) What are the benefits of having a new constitution before election?

7) How to deal with the claim of many religious groups that giving women the right to be in leadership position is against religions?

8) Why we do not have a feminist political party that is composed of 95% women and 5% men?

• Most Important Demands and Suggestions Resulted from the Conference:

1) To allocate part of the State budget for women. ( Azza Kamel)

2) To support The Women Coalition and to publish it's ideologies and thoughts.

3) To establish a special database for women problems.

4) Media campaign to support women issues.

5) To compose a committee to supervise the Women Union election in which all women have the right to join. ( Ikbal Baraka)

6) Special committees for women within all police stations, and to support police women ( the same demand is asked by women committee in the Egyptian Social Democratic Party)

7) Social and political awareness campaigns for women in all provinces.

8) The restructuring of the National Council for Women.

9) Civil State.

10) A new constitution.

11) A political representation of women through the proportional list system

تحرر الرجل

Nihad Fottouh

The Emancipation of Men


Kasim Amin has written in the closure of the nineteenth century about the emancipation of women, Tahrir El-Mara'a (1899). His book was written in particular to free the Egyptian Women from the constraint of the society and the constraint of the veil, a cover the women were forced to use to cover their faces. Egyptian women ever since that book have gone through many changes starting by being educated in the same schools as men, going to work and earning the same income as men, sharing in the political life and being elected just as men. However, by the beginning of the twenty first century there is an amounted need for another book for the emancipation of men.
Due to the challenges and obstacles placed by the society on women in general and women who aspire better positions, in particular; women in current generations became more responsible than men. A girl faces the guilt of her gender and lives her life attempting to make it up. Girls are often given household chores and are often responsible for younger siblings. They confine their behaviors to the societal restrictions, including dress and marriage. They face their educational career seriously. They obey their fathers and follow their brothers. Thus, girls get used to challenges and responsibilities, they get used in their early years to be responsible for their behaviors and decisions, they get used to be the support. Consequently, after many years of the emancipation of women, men's role in the society have receded, and diminished, as women are taking over the deserted responsibility. Women now are seen to be educated, working, with families, are responsible for those families, are responsible for the running of their homes and children, are responsible for their husbands and most of the times are responsible for supporting their houses.
Men on the other hand, are only responsible, due to their set role by the society, to work. They are free from every other responsibility. They are born in families who cherish their existence as men and put no obligation on their existence. They have no house-hold chores, they have no restrictions on their behaviors and outings, they have no worries about their education, and they face no challenges of what so ever. Women are seen to occupy the first places in different educational fields, simply because men don't care about education. Women have better working opportunities, simply because women are more efficient. Women have better incomes, simply because they can take the responsibility, whereas, men are left lagging behind, living the ancient life of Shahrazad.
It is found that every 24 seconds, there is a divorce case. After researching it was found that the main reason behind that are men's inability to take responsibility. Men enter in a relationship, physically attracted to the chosen woman, they seek women physically resembling the famous movie stars and rock stars, fair, blond green eyed and perfect figured. After marriage they ask those same carefully chosen dolls to cook like their moms, clean like the experts, take care of the children mentally, socially, physically, to work and on top of that to look like a Shakira and smell like Coco Chanel. When women fail in any of the assigned responsibilities, men walk out of marriages leaving women with their children to support, and with a scare being 'a divorced woman'. Men, on the other hand are never blamed by the society for any of their faults or flaws because men are always flawless as human beings, as observed by the patriarchal society.
So it is time now to have a book that would emancipate men. Men need to be emancipated from their sense of superiority, men need to be emancipated from their physical dreams of women, and men need to be emancipated from their traditional role set by the society. They need to accept the challenges of modern life, they need to learn to take responsibilities, they need to free themselves from their families, and societies that dictate their outdated classical role. They need to accept to share, secure, support. They need to learn how to be students, husbands, and fathers. They need to learn to be human beings, not gods. Men of Egypt begin your emancipation, because if you won't start, we the women of Egypt will emancipate you, because after all we need men to share us our lives not only scarecrows.